How to cope with family and mentality?

the long and the short of it is , you are what you choose . i gather from what you say in that your mother being white , then your father is of an ethnic back round . that said then you have two directions you can go , the hood or the white way . so heres a Q for you . are you saying that one is a right way and the other is not . if so , then you are using your leaving , as a threat to your mothers side of the family , that being said , then i understand why they're not listening . more than that , you have a right to walk within two cultures to what ever degree you choose . why don't you take up the challenge of being in control of both as they pertain to you , and not as they pertain to your mother or father . or you could simply create your own life that would be as legitimate as any other that ever was . take it easy .